Does it make any sense that on the hottest week of the year so far in NYC I am peddling a recipe for a hearty braised lamb? No, no it does not. But I’ve never pretended to have any allegiance to weather/holidays*/generic content calendars. You know what my content calendar revolves around? Me. And how I’m feeling. And right now, I happen to be sick and the last thing I want or need is a bright, tangy spring salad.
But you know what I realized? I am sick and ALONE for the first time. Like, sick in this new apartment where I live alone and do everything alone and now I am sick alone. And let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like a severe bout of (well…I don’t know what because I tested negative for absolutely everything under the sun but just imagine a really really sore throat and body aches and chills and things*) to make you question your existence.
For the past few months I’ve been riding a wave of independence. I’ve always been a very independent person but lately I’ve had no choice but to lean in hard: to pick up the pieces of my broken relationship, to find a new apartment, to move, to furnish the place, to begin to live life “normally,” to date…it’s just been a nonstop roller coaster ride and there’s been no choice but to move forward and to do it quickly and without questioning things. You know what prevents you from moving forward and moving quickly and being as active as you possibly can in order to avoid feeling things? Being sick, that’s what. I’ve been forced to slow down and part of me thinks the universe did this to me on purpose because avoidance and productivity have been my favorite strategies but both of those things have an expiration date in terms of how effective they are. I think I might have reached mine.
So here I am. It’s 80 degrees in the middle of April and I am willingly choosing to overheat my small NYC apartment by turning on the oven for several hours in order to braise some lamb shoulder. I’ve had a couple good cries over the last few days - on the phone with my hometown best friend, in person with 2 of my best friends here in NYC - and I have to say, I recommend it. Crying is a fairly foolproof strategy and an essential component of the pity party I’ve been throwing for myself. (side note: do I feel weird talking about crying with all of you? Kind of. But if you’ve read this far I have to assume that you a) actually care b) probably listened to me cry on audio via my GGE episode or c) you hate-read my newsletter and are deriving joy from my pain. In any case, I’m cool with it).
To explain the obvious: being sick makes you vulnerable and being vulnerable makes you crave comfort and love. I happen to have a lot of platonic love in my life but it’s not the same as having the kind of love where you cuddle when you’re sick; where you have someone to take care of you day and night and bring you things and order you soup and well, I guess I just didn’t realize how much I miss it. I don’t think I’ve fully allowed myself to miss it. Truly feeling that loss would be, uh, pretty detrimental to me living my daily life so I’ve more or less blocked it out (don’t worry, I’ve actually started seeing a therapist - yesterday was our first session! So we will be addressing this lol).
Anyways, back to the lamb. After coming out of my pity party and what I hope is the worst of my illness, I began craving a version of the lamb ragu we served at my Petite Pasta Joint Ukraine Benefit last weekend. It was inspired by one of my favorite dishes of all time: plov, an Uzbek rice pilaf made with lamb. It was perfect served over Raffetto’s pappardelle at our dinner but my throat is still on fire so I decided to go with more of a mushy base for this stew-y lamb and make some garlicky, creamy mashed Japanese sweet potatoes. Regular potatoes would be awesome and polenta would also be delicious! But Japanese sweet potatoes are what I had on hand and honestly, I’m a big fan of the way the sweetness contrasts with the unctuous lamb and earthy cumin.
I used to get SO intimidated by the idea of braising meat. I literally don’t know why?? I think I was just not super clear on the braising process and the only time I tried to do it I cranked the heat way too high and didn’t sear my meat and ended up with some very dry and not very tender pork shoulder. So let me just say: even though it takes around 2 hours for the lamb shoulder chops to braise properly, this is actually an incredibly easy dish to make and it requires very few ingredients. The oven does the work for you. So if you’re sick (I swear I know so many people who are sick right now) or just in need of a little extra comfort, make this braised lamb shoulder. Serve it over something that delights you and makes you feel like you’re being wrapped in a big warm hug. Because here’s the real truth - even if there’s no one next to you to give you that big warm hug, you have exactly what you need right here: you have you.
Love,
Em
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