The healing powers of spicy fried chicken

plus my first theater experience since pre-pandemic times

It’s a rainy, gloomy Wednesday morning in NYC. 

I’m writing this while still in my PJs, silently cursing myself for scheduling a Barry’s Bootcamp for 9:40am. It was booked within 12 hours of the class time via ClassPass so if I cancel it I will incur a $28 fee which feels truly criminal. Criminal, but effective because there’s no way on God’s green earth I’m going to pay $28 to NOT workout. Evil geniuses.

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There are a lot of moments lately when I don’t feel like working out but I do it anyway because I know I’ll feel better after. Working out is a lot easier when you’re in a good mood; when you’ve been good to your body and mind and you’re excited to sweat and listen to fun music. It’s a lot harder when you’re feeling sad or anxious or confused about what we’re all doing here.

Today’s existential mood is a continuation of yesterday’s existential mood which caused me to end my work day early and go on a little late afternoon date with my friend, Jaymee. We met up for some fried chicken at Rowdy Rooster, an Indian fried chicken spot that I’ve been meaning to try by the folks who own critically acclaimed Dhamaka. We split the Big Rowdy sandwich and also got an order of the street cart chili chicken. The Big Rowdy comes on a potato bun (score) with mint, yogurt and pickled onion. There are 5 spice levels to choose from starting with Rascal (mild) and ending at Rowdy (crazy hot) and while I’m normally a huge fan of setting my mouth on fire, we opted for a more palatable Rebel (medium). This sandwich is MESSY, folks, but it was worth every bit of spice-stained finger/yogurt-dripping. The street cart chili chicken was also delicious and very saucy. Next time, though, I’m gonna order the boneless dry-spiced chicken (the Smooth Operator) because fried chicken is one of the few foods I don’t want to be slathered in sauce. Dry-spiced with sauce for dipping is my fried chicken move. This unapologetically flavorful meal at Rowdy Rooster was *exactly* what I needed. I know I get to eat amazing stuff all the time, but usually it’s because I’m shooting a video or otherwise working. And while I did end up taking videos of the restaurant, the purpose of the meal wasn’t for work and that felt liberating. It feels good to remember that the whole reason I do what I do is because I love food. 

The Big Rowdy

We then proceeded to take a walk through Tompkins Square Park, watched a few illegal things go down in broad daylight, and then made a very last minute decision to go see a movie. I haven’t been inside of a theater since probably before the pandemic and I cannot even tell you how glorious it was to buy an overpriced, over-salted bucket of popcorn and a “small” fountain soda that was about 32 ounces, sit in a reclining seat at the Regal theater on Essex street, and just watch a movie. It was sheer bliss. We saw Everything Everywhere All At Once. I genuinely still don’t know how I feel about it but I do know I haven’t stopped thinking about it which means it’s worth seeing. There was an underlying theme about mother/daughter relationships that made me bawl my eyes out because I miss my mom so much and also because I fully understand how complicated that relationship can be.

I’m bad at giving myself breaks from life like I did last night. Like, even when I’m relaxing in theory by watching Netflix or whatever it may be, I’m usually not fully giving myself permission to relax. I’m still thinking about what I could/should be doing instead, or checking my phone every 14 seconds to see if someone needs me. I guess what I’m saying is, my time doesn’t really feel like it belongs to me. I’m starting to realize that a large part of the reason I’m uncomfortable with being out of touch is because constantly communicating with the outer world is a great way of avoiding being alone with myself which means I consistently fail at being there for the one person who needs it the most: me.

So last night, I did exactly what I needed to do for me. I ate good food, I saw a great friend who always leaves me feeling better after seeing her than I did before, and I put away my f*cking phone.

And you know what? For the first time since BUD (Break Up Day), I fell asleep without my computer screen playing Netflix in my face. I slept through the entire night, and I woke up feeling actually rested. I’m not gonna lie, I did take a swig of Nyquil to assist in the process. Baby steps.